Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize