someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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