never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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