Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
