I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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