finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
