just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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