At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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