I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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