K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
