you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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