love makes seman taste better
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
