It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
