Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
