happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
