If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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