Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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