$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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