Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
