Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
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