i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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