I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
