In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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