with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
