Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
