Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Randomize
