hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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