Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
