Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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