If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
