I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
