I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
