I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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