It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Randomize
