I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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