I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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