I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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