It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
