I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
