The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
