You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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