So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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