Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
