This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
He better not be in your backpack
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Randomize
