so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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