A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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