Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
im drinking this country out of the recession.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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