Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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