who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
