erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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